Wish List Wednesday #88: The Lonely Hunter: Why the Search for Love Is Broken by Aimee Lutkin

Posted February 2, 2022 by Angie in Wish List Wednesday / 0 Comments

Title: The Lonely Hunter: Why the Search for Love Is Broken

Author: Aimee Lutkin

Release Date: February 8, 2022

One woman’s quest to answer the question When can I say I’ll be alone forever? leads her to explore the unprecedented rise of single adults, our society’s pathologizing of loneliness, and the purpose of dating in this crackling, incisive blend of memoir and cultural reporting.

One evening, thirtysomething single writer Aimee Lutkin found herself at a dinner party surrounded by couples. When the conversation turned to her love life, Lutkin–who had dated on and (mostly) off for years–stated simply, I don’t really know if I’m going to date anyone ever again. Some people are just alone forever. As her friends rushed to assure her that love comes when you least expect it and to make recommendations for new dating apps, Lutkin wondered, Why, when there are more unmarried adults than ever before, is there so much pressure to couple up? Why is everyone so uncomfortable around single people? Why does it seem like your real life can’t start until you meet The One? And is it possible to be single without being lonely?

Over the course of the next year, Lutkin set out to answer these questions and to see if there really was some trick for escaping loneliness out there. She went on hundreds of dates; read the sociologists, authors, and relationship experts exploring singlehood and loneliness; dove into the wellness industrial complex; tossed it all aside to binge-watch Netflix and eat nachos; and probed the capitalist structures that make alternative family arrangements nearly impossible.

Chock-full of razor-sharp observations and poignant moments of vulnerability, The Lonely Hunter is a stirring account of one woman’s experience of being alone and a revealing expose of our culture’s deep biases against the un-coupled. Blazingly smart, insightful, and full of heart, this is a book for anyone determined to make, follow, and break their own rules.

This is my type of Nonfiction! Those about those of us who don’t fit society’s expectations. I never plan on getting married, and honestly can’t even see myself with a long-term partner. Is there something wrong with that? I don’t think so.

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